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Why Marriage Counseling Is A Constantly In-Demand Service



Marriage counseling is something which is needed more than ever at this time in our history, with divorce rates and separations soaring. One of the fundamental building blocks on which our society is built is constantly under threat, leading to frustration, disillusionment, and potentially serious disruption in the lives of children. Many reasons have been given for this increase in the breakdowns of relationships and marriages, with no definite conclusions ever being reached. It is clear, though, that a changing society needs to adapt the way it deals with constantly recurring difficulties, and new methods of counseling and therapy need to be found.

There is no doubt that the nature of marriage and its role in society has changed greatly in recent years. A marriage throughout most of recorded history has been one where the male and female partners had closely defined roles. It was the man who went out to work and played the role of the breadwinner, while the woman stayed in the home, kept it running smoothly day to day, nurtured and looked after the children, and helped to keep the family unit together. Often, in the more distant past, there were other members of the extended family living in the same property who could help out with many of the day to day chores.

The breakdown in the traditional structure of the family unit has often been touted as the main reason why there are fewer couples staying together for life than ever before. Now, more families are finding that both parents need to go out to work to make money and to keep the home going. Often, this means that the children do not get the attention they need in their most important formative years, and this can put further pressure on the situation. The welfare of the children is usually the greatest concern people have when they first arrive for marriage counselling.

It has never been possible to give a definitive reason why so many marriages are failing in modern society. Easy and quick divorce is clearly playing a part in higher divorce rates, but this only comes into play when the marriage has already failed. This is the positive side of marriage breakdown, that at least in our modern society we have the ability to dissolve arrangements which are not working and give both parties the chance to try again in the future. It is also inevitable that the faster pace of modern life gives people less chance to communicate and resolve problems.

Children are always one of the most important issues in marriage counciling, as no matter how bitter the feelings have become between the two partners, no-one wants to see the innocent children suffer as a result, and have their lives blighted right at a time when they need to be concentrating on their education and their future. The idea that a marriage needs to stay together for the sake of the children is a false one, and often children will be more relaxed and better able to concentrate when the marriage difficulties have at least been resolved one way or the other.

It is vital to make sure that the goals of marriage counseling are understood right from the start. While it may be preferable for the marriage to be brought back on track, this is not always going to be the best solution, or even a practical one. Another feature of the fast paced society is that people change more quickly, and their needs and desires change, and there will be times when it will be simply impossible to reconcile the aims of the marriage partners. There are also inevitably going to be marriages which were mismatches right from the start.

A trained marriage counselor will be able to quickly spot these circumstances, and also the circumstances where the marriage has run into difficulties which can be eased. Often, good marriage counseling is simply a case of bringing buried issues out into the open, and talking them through. It can also benefit a couple greatly if they are able to spend time away from the pressures of their normal environment, and there are many organizations which now run vacations and retreats for this very purpose.

The future of marriage counseling appears to be one of a continually increasing demand, with counselors having an increasingly demanding workload. The failure rates of second and third marriages are far in advance even of those for first marriages, meaning that the problem is self-perpetuating. To get the best from the time you book with a marriage counselor, make sure you use the Internet to research their techniques and philosophies in advance, so that you can save time on your initial appointment. By doing this, you will maximize the benefit from your session, and get the best from your marriage counseling.

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